I had booked a last minute 5 day break and we were both coming to terms with the thought of parenthood and that our relationship was indeed going to going to the ultimate level, whilst waiting to get confirmation of exactly what stage In the pregnancy I was...
We went of to the sun for some much needed RnR. My husband started to relax while I was adjusting to my body changes, such as cramps and the things I could eat and drink (funny enough it didn't bother me that I had to cut down on the amount of alcohol I drank, since I didn't really drink much generally to start with).
The Holiday allowed us to talk and not think of anything else but where we were.. whilst walking around our hotel grounds one evening, my husband said 'Well I thought I had done it all, but here I am about to have a sprog at 42'! The funny thing about Australians is the words they use...i.e. 'Sprog!' meaning child.... 'Yes we will' I confirmed with a 6 foot grin on my face.....
We returned from our impromptu break late on the 20th May, with a bit of bronze in our cheeks and feeling a bit less like casper the friendly ghost and a skip in our step. On the 22nd I rang the Dr's again to find out if they had heard back from the Royal London Hospital and they confirmed they hadn't but were pleased to say that a fax had been sent for the referral! I was furious since they had said to me that a referral had been sent two weeks ago, after a few stressful words with the surgeries secretary, she promised to call me back once she had called the hospital again but she did stress that she didn't have any luck trying to get in touch with them previously. Great I thought, no wonder people grumble about the NHS and maternity units.....and again I left the matter with them for a couple more days...
I had read and heard that during this time of pregnancy morning sickness will affect you, but for me my morning sickness came and went. In the mornings I felt queasy but was still able to have porridge but at night it was ten times as bad, to the point where I got home and just fell onto the sofa feeling sorry for myself and when people rang my mobile I ignored it, as I couldn't even be bothered to move my hand to pick it up.... talk about feeling very unsociable!!!
That week Friday, I was fed up hearing nothing from my Dr's surgery and rang them again to confirm what the hell was going on, especially as I had been waiting weeks for an initial appointment to confirm the pregnancy and to make sure everything was OK.
I got through to the secretary first go and she said 'ah yes, I have just got through to the Hospital' (funny that, I have not heard a thing from you I thought!!!!) and I am sorry to say that they are not going to accept the referral as they will only accept people from their borough'. I then asked about the other hospitals apart from the 'Queens Hospital' and she confirmed 'well you will find the same thing there and the best you can do, is have a look yourself for a hospital that could take you and then tell us and we will make the referral'! I was gobsmacked, I asked her 'So even though you give mothers-to-be four choices, in actually fact we don't have a choice and have to go to the one marked in black on the paper work which is the Queens', 'yes' she said..
Now as I have read really bad reports of
the maternity care at this hospital, I was highly concerned and highlighted
this to the secretary, she replies matter of factly 'well that is your only
choice, unless you can find some where yourself'... I was shaking with rage and
may I add heightened hormones.. I said fine just put me forward and put the
phone down... and as I did, the tears flowed hot and fast....
As
this is my first pregnancy, the fear of the unknown and the uncertainty it holds are at the
fore front of my mind and being told I have to go somewhere, where I feel very
uncomfortable about going didn't help.... I ended up snapping at my husband and
sales manager. As soon as I got home, I blurted everything out tearfully to my
husband about what had happened and text then my sister, asking about other options
and maternity insurance cover to go private.
Later
that night, my husband came up to me and said 'Go private, all I want is for
you to be safe and to go somewhere where you are comfortable', 'What about the
cost?' I replied, 'I want what is best for you and I don't care about the
costs'... Big brownie points for hubby...
So over that bank holiday weekend, I surfed the internet and spoke to my sister with
regards to private options and which hospitals run Midwife services.
That following Tuesday, I got back to the office and called around and
finally got an appointment with 'The Birth Team' who do the full maternity
package i.e. anti-natal clinics, blood works, scans, classes, birth and
postnatal midwife visits etc. and got an appointment that day to see the
Midwife and Obstetrician...... I was ecstatic!!! I was getting confirmation of
'The Sprog'.
That Afternoon on the 27th May 2013, we made our way to the
private hospital with plenty of time to spare and as soon as we got to the
first floor, the Dr. came out to greet us. After 10 mins of Q & A he said
'Do you want to do a scan?'. 'Yes please' I eagerly replied. I got on to the bed
and after getting prepared, the Obstetrician undertook the scan and said to my
husband 'Do you want to come and look?' and there it was confirmation in all
its glory of the sprog and its little heart fluttering away in black & white
on the screen....It was such a relief and a highly emotional moment for us both.
